


Intimacy

by tabriswrites



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: ..you'll see, Ambiguous Relationships, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Demisexual Illumi, Established Relationship, First Time Topping, M/M, Mind Games, Oral Sex, Platonic Sex, Topping from the Bottom, at the end, it's mild though, kind of, references to prior violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabriswrites/pseuds/tabriswrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whatever do you mean? Killers don't miss other killers. [Illumi returns from a job and is surprised to find that Hisoka is not immediately there to greet him. He is not upset by this at all, clearly. Mhm. Not upset at all.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing these two. I was listening to Big Dipper by the Cataracs on repeat while writing this so I have no explanation for how it turned out so.....domestic?? Apparently somewhat sweet & loving Hisoillu is a thing now, whoops. Don't get me wrong, it's still fucked up & I don't think I wrote them OOC, but you'll have to tell me what ya think.

Hisoka was predictably unpredictable. This, at least, gave Illumi some fair warning. Knowing that the forever-scheming clown would rarely settle for the exact same behavior twice, the assassin could steel himself upon return to their shared apartment to expect something, well… _unexpected._ But this was unusual, even for Hisoka.

Well, perhaps when he had said Hisoka never tried the same thing twice, he had been referring more to his drastically different tactics at the end of each of Illumi’s absences to achieve one of two recurring goals: to get Illumi to fight him, or to get Illumi to fuck him.

The magician never succeeded in the first goal. Probably because he wasn’t really trying. Illumi knew full well that Hisoka was aware of exactly what particular button to push in order to send him into a blinding rage, yet he had never pushed it all but that once. Hisoka enjoyed games, but he didn’t like them ending. And as strange as their bond was; loath he was to admit that it even existed, Illumi conceded that there was something valuable and lasting about it. Thus, whenever Hisoka goaded him childishly into snapping, they both knew that it wouldn’t result in a finale to their bizarre camaraderie.

Plus, Hisoka never failed at his second goal. Their sex wasn’t all that different from fighting, not lacking in a “winner” or “loser” each round. Fucking wasn’t without its mind games. That, Illumi assumed, kept his vulgar comrade more than satisfied for now.

At least, he had assumed it until walking into the apartment, taking his time by the front door, and suddenly realizing he hadn't yet been greeted by any form of sexual or violent advance for well past five minutes. Usually by now someone was in the nude; Illumi reminisced on a particularly memorable time when his welcome home had been in the form of a naked and grinning Hisoka touching himself on the welcome mat. Thank god the smug exhibitionist had learned some subtlety since then, because it hadn't gone over well with the neighbors. Illumi winced at the memory. He bothered then to glance appraisingly around the vicinity of the front entryway as he slid off his forest green traveling coat and licked his thumb to slick back the pesky bit of jet black hair sticking up by his forehead. It wasn’t unlike Hisoka to use Zetsu to hide his presence in these moments, so the assassin hadn’t fully considered the possibility that Hisoka may not be on the premises at all.

He reached out now with his aura, actively seeking out any other presences, and was mildly startled to realize that Hisoka truly _was_ missing. That was an interesting development. However, it also meant that the eldest Zoldyck sibling finally had some time to catch up on necessary responsibilities that his unusual acquaintance was rather talented at making him neglect.

Unfortunately, Illumi quickly realized that those responsibilities took all of two seconds. He filled out some long-overdue forms on past jobs, and once completing them, discerned that they had been the only remaining job-related tasks he'd had to pass the time. Upon this realization, he decided to do something he knew would occupy his time until Hisoka's inevitable return: drafting a letter to Killua. Odds are, his brother would never read it, but it made him feel closer to the distant boy. It was like a way of making up for something; something he didn't like to dwell on, but that caused a feeling reminiscent of guilt to form a lump in his throat. The eldest Zoldyck sibling was unnerved to realize how little he thought about his missing brother these days. Something about Hisoka's presence was gifted at whisking away Illumi's concerns. This was something the assassin was often grateful for, but in this instance it made him uneasy. His siblings had been his entire life, _literally,_ for as long as he'd been alive. Since he'd moved out of the family compound and in with Hisoka—instead taking assignments from afar—he was shocked by how far away that life felt, and how far away everything he thought he'd known about himself felt as consequence. He signed the last character on his letter to Kil, mentally cutting off that thought process before it went anywhere too distressing. The house was _still_ empty of the magician. At a loss and bored, the assassin resorted to filing his already-short nails and checking his impeccable hair for split ends. For once, the assassin cursed his own efficiency. He felt on edge without Hisoka’s overpowering presence pervading the apartment. At least when he was doing other things he wasn't as aware of it. It's not as if Illumi was worried; Hisoka was more than capable of taking care of himself, and probably enjoying himself in the process… Well known it was that danger was largely the sicko’s forté. The issue was that Illumi was currently left alone with his racing, barely-avoidable thoughts, things which he thoroughly did _not_ enjoy examining. He found it more than mildly embarrassing that he was now pacing the floor in repetitive rectangular shapes. The assassin didn’t see himself as an anxious or impatient person.

When it was nearing three AM and the magician still hadn't returned, the assassin sat stiffly on the sofa eating a very late dinner and suppressing an overpowering urge to knock over the intricate card tower that Hisoka had built a few days earlier on the coffee table. Illumi wondered idly if Hisoka was toying with him. Maybe this was a game to see how long it would take Illumi to call and ask where he was out of concern. If so, this game wasn't apt to end any time soon. The assassin was stubborn, and although he was aware that Hisoka probably knew the odd way in which he cared for the other man, he didn't like giving him the satisfaction of seeing it regularly. He knew it was childish, but he found himself petulantly thinking of what Hisoka could be doing that was more important than him. Illumi chose to not read into that too much, and wrote it off as being sexually frustrated. Before Hisoka, his attitude toward sex had been plain apathy at best and pure disdain at worst. Actually, it still was like that, now that he thought about it. He was only _not_ repulsed by sex with the magician. And going without it now was actually...uncomfortable. It was strange to see that they'd fallen into a rhythm, and stranger still that Illumi felt bereft at even the temporary cessation of it. Well, at heart he supposed people were creatures of habit.

Regardless of how frustrated he was, it was getting late and he still needed to take a shower and wash his hair. An assassin couldn't function optimally on so little sleep. When he climbed into bed thirty minutes later smelling like Hisoka's weird-ass brand of body wash because his own had run out, he was careful to lay exactly in the center and spread out his pajama-clad limbs so he wasn't hyper-aware of the empty space on either side of him. Laying on his stomach Illumi drifted off quickly, last conscious thought being one of feeling peculiarly unbalanced.

• • •

The Zoldyck assassin was awoken what couldn't be more than an hour later by a ghosting of breath along his naked left calf. His clawed hand was halfway to disemboweling whoever had done it before he saw Hisoka's face, and instantly relaxed back against the sheets. "I see you finally decided to show up?"

A customary smirk graced the magician's handsome face and he laid his currently makeup-free cheek gently against the skin he'd exposed on Illumi's calf, having pushed up his pants leg. "I had some _business_ to take care of, my sweet."

It clicked in Illumi's head and he nodded in understanding. "How many did you kill?" he asked, tilting his head.

Hisoka's eyes rolled back a bit at the memory and he sighed in mild ecstasy. "Four; Some stronger than others. All of them Nen-users, thought they could sneak up on me between two buildings. They thought they could win," he laughed harshly. "They were talented; one girl was a specialist—I'd place her at a 75 on the scale. Best I've fought in a while. Obviously not as strong as you, dear Illumi," he purred, and his eyes brimmed with familiar bloodlust. "Maybe someday~"

Illumi assessed. "Are you hard?"

"Yes~"

"You made me wait. I stayed up late thinking you'd show up."

"Ohh, I'm sorry~ How can I make it up to you?" Hisoka batted his lashes and slid his hands up along the backs of both Illumi's legs, long nails whispering gentle streaks into the skin. He met the assassin's eyes with deliberate intent and licked his lips.

Illumi considered rolling his eyes at the theatrics, but he actually liked it when Hisoka was this forward; it made up for his own lack of initiative when it came to seduction. He blamed his next statement on being influenced by the filty-minded magician, although he was far less graceful in his delivery. "Suck me off."

The magician's eyes shone with mirth and Illumi was met with the knowledge that Hisoka knew exactly how odd it felt to the assassin to speak in vulgar terms like this, but he didn't voice it, just waited patiently for Illumi to roll onto his back and prop himself up on some pillows so that he could focus his attention on the assassin's crotch. The Zoldyck appreciated his associate not capitalizing on his awkwardness, at least this once. He let his eyes snap shut.

If there was one thing Hisoka was ever completely invested in while he was doing it, it was giving head. Of this, Illumi was certain. In most areas of life, the magician was good at multitasking, always having more than one pawn at a time doing something to interest him so that he never became bored. But when it came to this, or eating him out, the assassin was privately amazed by how much single-minded determination he put into it. Right now, he was swallowing around the very base of Illumi's cock, nose pressed against his abdomen and utilizing a fucking _perfect_ amount of suction that had the assassin breathing hard and dragging at the sheets. Hisoka pulled off and sucked harshly on the head, flicking his tongue over the leaking tip —all while laying feather-light touches over the assassin's balls— and didn't even falter when Illumi let out a strangled gasp and involuntarily thrust into his throat. He never bothered to hold the assassin's hips down when they did this; the man was without a doubt a masochist and enjoyed the feeling of gagging, but beyond that Illumi suspected it had something to do with experiencing (in the form of choking on his cock) the exact moment when the assassin's composure broke. It was a power dynamic thing, but Illumi found it hard to care much about looking vulnerable when it felt this spectacular.

"Ungh! Hiso... Fuck, I'm coming," he bit out. His entire body was shivering.

He rapidly went still and tense with annoyance as Hisoka pulled off, right as the assassin was about to crash over the edge, and flicked his tongue out lazily to disconnect a strand of saliva that still tied him to Illumi's weeping cock. "Don't look at me like that, Illu~ you can't come yet," he crooned.

The Zoldyck's eyes narrowed even further. "I don't remember saying I'd let you fuck me just now? I wanted you to get me off with your mouth."

Hisoka's laugh resonated airily. "I wasn't implying that I was trying to fuck you, sweet thing. I'm still not finished making it up to you~"

"Make it fast then. I've only gotten an hour of sleep thanks to you."

"You're the only person I've ever encountered able to make sex sound like an inconvenience," the magician chuckled, pushing himself off the bed, looping his hand gently around Illumi's wrist, and pulling. In a trademark feat of Hisoka flexibility, the redhead gracefully and quickly managed to acrobatically slip his own clothing off and stand in nude expectation at the edge of the bed, all while pulling Illumi up into a seated position.

Illumi's brow furrowed in confusion. He was too aroused and irritated to process any of the magician's antics at the moment. "What are you doing?"

Hisoka winked, did a twirl under his partner's hand, and bent over completely, pert ass to the ceiling. "Why, Illumi, I'm offering myself," he purred, pressing the hand he'd pirouetted under firmly against his left ass cheek and glancing over his shoulder to catch the other's reaction.

The assassin couldn't disguise his raised brows. "Huh?"

For the first time, the clown's eyes flashed with something approaching annoyance and Illumi felt a muscle tense in the ass under his palm, but Hisoka's smug smile didn't falter. "In all the times we've been intertwined in the throes of passion, as wonderful and orgasmic as they were, you've never fucked me. I'm requesting that you do it this time," he lilted, deliberately half-lidding his eyes so as to give them the seductive-yet-undeniably-humorous appearance of smoldering.

"Ah." Illumi wasn't particularly shocked at this. He'd sort of known Hisoka liked to switch. Someone so dynamic could hardly be satisfied in a static role. "Sorry. I generally prefer bottoming, that's why."

"Illu~ You're rejecting me? Even as I'm baring myself completely to you? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!" the magician pouted.

"I somehow doubt that," the assassin stated flatly. "But no, I'm not. We'll do it if you want. Get back on the bed now though. I'm not going to finger you on the floor and risk getting carpet burn when you can't control your reactions."

"Harsh! You wound me, Illu~," Hisoka cried, melodramatically lamenting the attack on his poise, but the assassin could tell the man was pleased by how quickly he stood upright again and climbed onto the mattress, settling on all fours. He waited for the assassin to come up behind him and then settled down onto his chest and shoulders, face pressing into the mattress, pose overtly obscene.

Illumi was actually impatient now. "Do you have lube?"

"Already taken care of~"

The assassin assumed he meant his unusual Nen; Texture Surprise, but that wasn't going to cut it right now. Hisoka may have liked pain, but Illumi wasn't in the mood, and chafing was not on his list of things he enjoyed sexually by any means. He leaned over and fished through the nightstand before coming up with a suitable alternative, popping the cap open and coating his fingers, gripping the magician's hips and slipping in his index finger before the man could voice a protest.

One never came. Instead, Hisoka sighed in a pleased and accepting tone and let Illumi slide his finger in and out. The assassin listened to the sound of his breathing to figure out how he should angle his hand. He'd never done this to someone before, but he could base his techniques off what Hisoka normally did when he was preparing him. He figured he was doing good enough because the magician kept moaning and shifting his legs to gain friction on his aching cock. Illumi kept adding fingers until there were three; mesmerizing fingers that kept sliding out of Hisoka's warm body before they were pulled back in again by the slick heat. He grew used to the rhythm and just watched his fingers disappear and reappear over and over again, the magician's euphoric sounds a steady beat in the background, growing gradually in volume.

"You're surprisingly subdued right now," his associate murmured teasingly into the mattress in between loud moans. Illumi didn't blink, continuing to move his fingers, stretching Hisoka open with efficient strokes. "My ass is hypnotizing hmm? You must thoroughly love me like this, Illu. I'm flattered. Oh...! You're gonna make me come without even trying~"

“I hate you.”

“Ah, dearest Illumi, you’re not the first person to say that with your fingers up my ass,” the magician keened suggestively, and pushed back toward his hand.

The assassin’s face scrunched up and he removed his fingers entirely from the other man’s body to a chorus of protests. “Fuck this. Let’s just do it the normal way,” he muttered darkly, quickly moving to roll the smug magician over onto his back. Before he could, a hand snaked out and held his wrist captive.

“Ohh~,” the single visible gold slit of Hisoka’s right eye leered at him in profile. “Illu.. I'm sorry." His eye narrowed further and turned up at the corner. "Is this jealousy because you know you’re not my first this way? Scared you could never satisfy me as much as the others?” the magician practically purred. It was a clear challenge.

Illumi took a long, deliberate moment before replying.

“No,” he said finally, slicking up his own cock, and dragged the magician up off the bed, pale muscled back flush against his chest. He leaned in close so his hair formed a black curtain around them, dark space that only they shared. He nosed his face gently up the magician’s throat and upon reaching Hisoka’s ear, split his normally stoic expression into a wide grin and _hissed_ , “Because I know I’ll be your best,” sliding into him in one harsh thrust.

“Aah~!”

Hisoka was shocked at the sudden pain, but clearly overjoyed. The assassin felt him adjust to the intrusion quickly and lean back in an attempt to draw Illumi in. “Hmm~ you haven’t been this worked up in a while… fuck me like you actually missed me, Lumi,” he sighed, reaching back awkwardly behind him to clutch the assassin’s hip. Illumi realized he could feel the odd sensation of the magician purposely clenching around his dick.

He may have surprised Hisoka, but that didn’t translate to winning. Illumi pulled out completely.

The magician moaned exaggeratedly at the absence, so the assassin put just the head back in. And held himself there, thrusting shallowly and messy until Hisoka was suitably aware of how this was going to play out, and until it got to the point where Illumi was really only torturing himself with the pleasure. What the assassin could see of the magician’s previously coy face was resigned to a subtler half-smile. The magician knew precisely what the Zoldyck was doing, but he wasn’t going to fight it.

“So if I just start begging now will that speed things along?” Hisoka questioned airily. “Or am I going to have to wait no matter what?”

When the assassin didn’t immediately dignify him with an answer, the magician hummed with false nonchalance and reached down in an attempt to touch himself before predictably being stopped. He looked down at the pin that now barely stabbed through his hand and arched a manicured brow. A thin trail of blood dripped down the lines of his fingers. “Where did you even get that from? So cruel, Illumi. Even for you,” he pouted.

“Say how much you want it, Hisoka.”

The assassin heard his partner’s breath hitch harshly and felt a quiet swell of triumph. Nothing made Hisoka into more of a mess than Illumi’s use of his name. Well, that and a variety of other much more shameful forms of debauchery, considering that this was Hisoka he was referring to. The same Hisoka who had brought himself to orgasm so many times covered in the blood of himself or others, practically blew it then and there because the assassin spoke his name. All the more reason why the blank-faced assassin claimed victory in the brief shudder of the bloodthirsty man’s body at the thought of something so comparatively vanilla. Illumi could get drunk on this kind of power.

“God, Lumi… I want it so bad. You’re so close to doing it already,” moaned Hisoka too-loudly as he pried the pin with ease from his hand and tossed it aside. “I want to know what it feels like to get fucked by you. I wanna come from just your cock. Mmm Illu~ be sweet to me for once. Please, Illumi. Make me feel how you feel when I’m fucking you~,” The magician’s voice was still melodious, but it was strained.

“Mm… okay,” Illumi said blankly, as if it were nothing, as if every cell in his body hadn't been desperately reaching toward the other man and praying for release, and pushed the ridiculous clown down on the bed so he could fuck him in deep, satisfying thrusts. The magician’s toes curled.

Hisoka was always such an exhibitionist, so loud that he could have woken the neighbors even when he was the one topping Illumi. It would have been annoying in any other situation, but the assassin already felt so close to coming from the newfound sensation that he was content to brace himself with his feet flat on the floor and bend over Hisoka; caging him in with his arms, his hair falling over both of them in a way that humorously suggested modesty, breathing quiet breaths so he could hear better. It was almost surreal, the experience of possessing the raw power that made up Hisoka. To have the ability to angle his hips just right to force the magician’s voice up an octave, to have him essentially incoherent solely because of Illumi’s cock was…bizarre. The Zoldyck son understood now the reason why, when he rode himself to climax on Hisoka’s lap in the early hours of morning, the smirking man would gaze up at him with a thinly-veiled look of wanting to devour him. Illumi understood, because he’d never felt so horrendously conflicted over whether to give into desire to kill a person or to make him come instead. In these fleeting moments they were nearly completely at each other’s mercy, yet neither of them were dead at the other’s hands. Illumi wondered if that was love. Then he realized he didn’t really care either way.

“I’m close,” he monotoned to the magician, pressing his forehead against the red hair at the nape of his neck, large eyes absorbing everything.

“Wait,” Hisoka panted. “Pull out.”

Illumi groaned inwardly. He’d assumed the magician would let him come inside as he’d implied he would. Separating himself from Hisoka like this now was evocative of the torture from his assassin training. Yet he showed no visible reaction to his internal chagrin, pulled out and stood behind his lover, working his hand fast over his own cock while blearily gazing down at the flexing muscles of Hisoka’s ass and thighs. It didn't matter anyway, he was going to come soon regardless. Everything was hazy; he was so goddamn close.

His eyes widened when the magician unexpectedly rolled onto his back and pulled the disoriented Illumi down into a bruising kiss. “Don’t come yet, Illu.” Red hair was stuck with sweat to his forehead and Hisoka must have been completely fucked out of his mind, yet his gold eyes still danced with smoldering intent and his filthy sneer was as firmly in place as it ever was. “I’m gonna make it so good for you, sweet Illumi.”

The assassin found himself flipped onto his back, with his hair spread out on the bed like some twisted parody of a halo. Hisoka hovered over him, hands restraining his wrists, his heavy, sicky-sweet aura adding thick, sugary weight to the air Illumi breathed. The magician’s strong, yet elegant hand wrapped around Illumi’s cock, and before he could process what was happening; this deceiver, this master of cards, this dangerous person that Illumi somehow felt completely and utterly safe with, adjusted himself and sank down on it.

Illumi could do nothing but stare unblinkingly up at Hisoka as Hisoka peered back at him and rode him roughly, not breaking eye contact until the assassin came seconds later, and that was only because he had to throw his head back and couldn't continue looking, hands freed so he could grip the other man’s hips for support. The assassin’s sure he must have made sounds, probably hissing or nonsense words or Hisoka’s name. They all sounded the same. The world ended and began with Hisoka, and Illumi must have shown that in his eyes or the slackness of his jaw during orgasm, because something in his partner's expression changed suddenly and the magician gasped, shuddered, and came right then across Illumi's chest without even having touched himself.

Passively the assassin watched him ride out the last of the tremors, and didn't flinch when the unsteady magician collapsed bonelessly forward onto his torso. Illumi gazed approvingly at the satisfied face resting at the junction of his neck and chest that he could just barely see out of the corner of his eye, and waited until both of their breathing patterns had evened out before separating. He scooted out from under the warm body so that they could lay side by side, not completely entwined, but touching all the way from their heads down to their toes on one side; subtle body contact. Hisoka was always very dopey after orgasm, and at the moment he looked to be in utter bliss, lazily stroking his fingers through the come on his stomach with eyes gently shut in meditative trance. "That was...very good~," he eventually sighed.

"Mmm," Illumi agreed almost soundlessly.

The magician cracked an eyelid, exposing the gold irises underneath. "Did you also have fun?"

The assassin hesitated. "I don't know what that means. But if you're asking if it was pleasurable, then yes. You are...," he frowned, "exceedingly...tight."

Hisoka's abrupt laugh cut sharply through the darkness. "It's a talent," he snickered, flourishing his right arm in both acknowledgement and grandiosity. At the end of the gesture, he refocused his gaze intensely in his lover's direction. "You're welcome to experience that tightness again any time, sweetheart~"

Something sounded vaguely _off_ about the magician's voice, and Illumi's eyes slid to Hisoka's face, probing for answers.

Seeing the question in Illumi's expression, Hisoka turned so that their noses were inches apart. "Did you...actually miss me today?"

If Illumi had been drinking something, he might have spit it out. "Why would you come to that conclusion?

"Because," his warm breath fanned across the assassin's features. "You're not very good at expressing yourself with words. But since I've met you, your body's never lied to me. I think you missed me."

"Mmm... I think what I missed was your fucking," Illumi replied, large eyes flitting away from Hisoka's cutting stare.

Hisoka knew the truth, but he wouldn't argue. To the magician, Illumi Zoldyck was transparent, see-through as glass though not nearly as fragile. But as he had so many other times, he didn't say a word, didn't try to humiliate the wide-eyed man so close to him; just began to bridge the tiny, inconsequential gap remaining stretched between them. Illumi watched Hisoka draw closer, imploring, for this short moment in time made of everything _but_ his usual forcefulness. Beautiful and ghostly pale, full of crackling power but limitless tenderness, he didn't have to wait long to be met in the middle. Illumi let him in; Illumi _always_ let him in.

And when he finally yielded, there was no sense of distinction from each other, just infinite oneness that would never make sense any time but now; in the dark after sex, when each time without fail their daytime façades splintered to meaningless pieces. If Illumi blinked, the feeling would slip away and end. Luckily, he wasn't one to blink often anyway.

In the black and silence, they kissed till morning came.

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is! I hope it was everything you dreamed it would be. ;) If you feel like leaving comments/tips, I would love to read them. Thanks for reading!


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